19 Oct Jesus, I have been fasting and praying
Jesus,
I have been fasting in prayer for the last 3 days.
Jesus, please make and cause my husband to stop and be completely free of all alcohol.
He fell of his wagon about 2 months ago or so, as YOU know. You see and know all things. You know every trigger both for him AND me.
Help me move past, forgive and quickly heal from the red hot panic and great anxiety his actions, attitudes, and negligence and failures to see, acknowledge, and take accountability for the injuries, hurts, and pains he has been causing.
Help and make me to forgive him, Jesus, as you forgive him and all of your children. I cannot forgive him or anyone without You, Jesus. That is absolutely true. I need you. Help me to keep my eyes fixed on just you, Lord. Help me place everything in your hands, his complete sobriety, my marriage and relationship with him, the security and safety of my home and environment.
Please Jesus, fix Jim on you, get him into a support group to keep him from influences and from being lead by satan and his dominions.
I can never trust “him”, Jesus, but I can trust You with Your help.
Cause and make him to stop smoking as a sign that he is completely sober and in sobriety, because Lord I know that if an alcoholic who smokes is not managing his disease, he will not manage his non-smoking either. Let THAT be a sign to me, Lord… not that I have focused on his stopping smoking, because I know he enjoys it but says he would like to stop because he knows its bad for him.
Help me walk away from him, from having my eyes fixed on him, but rather keep my entire focus and eyes fixed on YOU.
Heal his brain, Lord, I recognize the effects of brain atrophy from his alcoholism and I see it in his lack of compassion, empathy, in his language and way that he is irrational and unreasonable, and his pure meanness. That, Lord, is the effects of disconnect between synapses and nuero-chemical pathways. Please heal and hydrate his brain back to normal. I know you can’t do that unless he dries up completely from alcohol. Lord fill our home and each one of us with Your Holy Spirit. Speak and Walk, and Work through us. Block out and cast out and away every enemy, every demonic, every unclean, and familiar spirit.
Surround us continually (even when we are preoccupied and forgetful) with your Holy Host and Administering Angels, so much so there is no place nor tolerance for any evil influences in our lived. Walk there among your angels, Lord, and touch us with your healing, comforting, and directional touch.
Do the same for each of my children, Lord, whom I have placed in your hands. Especially, Katelyn, Lord… but all of them.
I pray this to the Father, in the name and blood of Jesus who washes clean and makes us new creations in Christ.
Amen.